Career or Family – What Should A Woman Choose –Discuss

As children you would often have realized that mother plays the most important part in your overall developmentParenting an Adolescent, both your studies as well as your extra curricular activities. When your mother is a working woman, you might have missed some special things that most of your friends seem to get almost without much effort.

As a young woman I had always considered career as the main personality for a woman, however when I became a mom, my preferences changed, I wanted to be with my child more than anything else. Career seemed like a small part of my life, but still I enjoyed the financial security my career or job gave me and hence did not want to totally be a stay at home mom.

 

the joy motherhood

Most of the times (especially when I have difference of opinion with my husband) I think I should take my career seriously so that I can prove that I am that person who had left all success to have a happy family, to keep my children safe and cheerful, to make my husband tension free and content when he returns home.

However this feeling does not last long. When I get home late from office and see my children on the bed watching some TV program which I would otherwise not have let them see by engaging them, or when one of them falls sick, I more than anything want to be at home.

But somewhere in middle I always have an inner yearning that I could have shined better in a career, and when I feel so, I begin thinking of working towards it. When I begin taking those steps though, I start getting confused of what will happen to the future of my children, who will take care of them, how they will grow up into successful individuals, especially in this problematic era where children are not safe even in their own homes.

I think this is not the plight of me alone, there are a number of ladies out there who are equally confused and sometimes depressed at the way the coarse of life is taking them, and are still not able to decide as to which is the right path to take – career or family.

Well I put forward this question to all those ambitious, yet content ladies, tell me what would be right decision to take for a woman – a career that brings accolades to your name or a happily growing child who would grow into a successful person and a happy family, come lets discuss.

You could check the problogger group writing project for more discussion

 

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  1. says

    This is such a hard question. Some days I want to stay home and soak in every minute with my kids. Other days I want to go to work and show them what it means to be a smart woman capable of succeeding in the business world. I am very fortunate in that I get to choose. When I have worked the extra income was nice but we did not build our family budget dependent on me working so I have the ability to choose whether I want to work. I stayed home with my children for 6 years, worked MORE than full time for 2 years, and I’m technically a stay home Mom again at the time. I try to balance by running my blog, NoSkinnies, and keeping myself up while the kids are at school and then I shut it all down when they are home. In the cases where the Mom has no choice but to work I don’t believe that you are any less close to your children or that they will not turn out as well. They will just have a different experience growing up than their couple of friends with stay home Moms. I actually feel that children of working Moms are more independent and more self sufficient later in life. For those Moms that have no choice (or have a choice and choose to work) you are not hurting your children. You just have to make the time you do get with them more quality time. What would be better – 8 hours a day home with your children while they play with each other and you do laundry because you can’t afford a maid or having only a couple of hours at the end of the day with your children when you can appreciate your time with them and shut the rest of the world out and focus on them? There are pro’s and con’s to both staying home and being a working Mom. Neither is right or wrong – the only thing that matters is what works for you and your family. Keep in mind what works for you now may not work for you in a few years. Be open to change :->

    • says

      Tammy thank you for your comment and what you say is really acceptable, and I would strongly say if you can balance your home, spend quality time with your children, have a happy home and are able to work full time, it would be a real heaven. I think this is what every woman wants, but where they fail is when they return home tired and feel that the child has missed you the whole day and yet you are not able to spend time with him. If a positive change is possible a lot of homes would be benefited, I would surely love it if you could suggest ways to that…

  2. says

    I am a single mom. My only daughter is turning 17 this year. I am under 40. I still feel 20something. There is plenty of time for career success ahead of me.

    I did not lose my identity all of this time being a mom. I enhanced myself. None of us can have it all at the same time.

    Still children grow up and move on. Mothers can before and after children are born invest themselves into personal pursuits or business.

    Taking out those few short years while children are young and growing to care for them is invaluable.

    Those days come to an end long before a woman is too old to get out and work.

    Mothers can also be very industrious from home or online without leaving home. We are crafty and creative. Many of us are educated and extremely talented.

    We can use these gifts and talents to create products and help others, earning income while we are raising our kids.

    Somewhere in the balance between community and home life women find rest and peace. I love being a mom but that is not all there is to me. I am a community organizer and a friend. I am a public speaker and a counselor. I am creative and vibrant as a personality.

    I love meeting people and being out and about at events. I have shown my daughter how to enjoy life in balance without guilt or fear about her choices.

    • says

      Tosca, I think almost every mom would applaud your decision, many friends of mine and readers too have come to the same decision, take some time off for your child, let him/her stabilise and then shoot your career…

  3. amala says

    I had no confusion when i had kids i gave them first preference and i dont regret it at all. And now when i chose a job ihave still no dilemas bcoz i give my family first preference and do my work (yoga instructor) which gives me lot of satisfaction. Most importantly i thank god everyday that i CAN choose betn career nd kids unlike our maids who have no option but work for their livelihood. So mothers dont think what u could have had IF…but be grateful for what u have.

    • says

      Amala, That IF factor is one thing that makes a number of women depressed and get out of their character. If the balance has been reached and done with content there is very little you have to worry…You have taken the right decision at the right time..so proud of you

  4. Ashok says

    Actually, why to decide in exclusive manner? Why not both? Well, at least here in Europe more and more the Employers are getting ready to accommodate the working mom in their businesses. Though the male dominant business world dictates the way businesses being conducted, if we need to bring in the 50% of the human resource to the benefit of the society why not think a new soultion, or redesign the businesses. In fact, I feel, we are living in this revolutionising time in history where the family and profession are going to get on par and women get their freedom to follow the profession with family. And it is the professional organisations that has to come to take neccessary steps to accommodate them if we want both economic growth and a healthy society.
    So, we need to think in this direction. How we can manage both passion for profession and family rather than which one should we give up.

    • says

      actually this would The Best solution Ashok, however while we try to balance profession with family, somewhere in the coarse we tend to feel that we have not been true to both profession of family. There is a lot of balancing to be done, and if DH is an understanding and cooperative person things would be managed in a better way…and as you said there is also a loss to the institutions too in way of manpower that is professionally qualified.

  5. Meenalotchini says

    Hi Menaka,

    I’m also sailing in the same boat:) But what I feel is this is only a transition period which will fly off soon. Once the children reach a stage when they can individually take care of themselves then we can go for a full time job to get the so called successful career. I feel that we are blessed to have a wonderful family as well as a job that is well enough to prove ourselves. I feel so proud of you because you’ve already proved of what you are capable of and I’m sure that your DH will agree with me. So no confusion, move on dear:)

  6. sudha says

    It is True Menaka, for a woman it is always difficult to know which is the right option, especially when it comes to career or family. I am a working woman, however, I feel so bad when my child is not able to join school competitions or when I am not in a position to go to PT meetings. well, life has to go on, I have to earn to make my child comfortable. I go to my office everyday thinking of quitting some time soon.

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